Toy Story
by Arctic Banana
Summary: Have you ever wondered what it is that your Transformer toys do when you're not around? Well my gang of 6-inch plastic warriors reveal all in this epic tale of life as a toy in my household...


This story was actually written a while ago, like about a day or so after I bought my Sunstreaker toy. I thought I submitted it, but I guess I didn't.

The inspiration for this story actually came one day when I was worrying what my Transformers might be thinking when I get dressed in front of them in the morning. I imagined it would go somewhat like so:

**Jazz: **w00t!! Take it off!!

**Sunstreaker: **Eh, it could be hotter. Wait, woah... When did she get that dragon tattoo?!

**Prowl: **You're both so immature...

The story kinda describes a bit about my lifestyle as well, with a bit of a self-mock at my habits. I imagine that each of my Transformer toys display a different aspect of my personality as well in this story (Jazz is my insane, easily entertained side; Prowl is my calmer side and my voice of reason that's usually only seen in certain classes at school; Sunstreaker is the side of me that realizes that "Wow! I haven't seen my floor in 3 years! Maybe I should clean?"). As such, this story's a bit more personal than anything I've ever written before. Also, my stuffed dog, Angelo, is the oldest toy I own- he's even older than me!

Also note that I give my friends ridiculous nicknames with even more ridiculous inside jokes attached.

* * *

Toy Jazz and Toy Prowl sat on the windowsill by Banana's bed just like they always did. Prowl was reading the stories out of the English textbook that their owner had left open on her pillow.

"Whatcha reading?" Jazz asked, brushing cat hairs off their post.

"Beowulf," Prowl replied.

"Why read it when you can watch it? Banana's dad has it downstairs. I'm sure we can bribe Cookie with cat treats to get her to bring it to us." Prowl sighed at the perceived stupidity of his question and used a ruler to turn the page. "Whatever, dude. I'm watching whatever's in the DVD player," Jazz shrugged. He jumped off the windowsill and into the bucket of clothes beside the bed. Moving a Linkin Park T-shirt and a hoodie with a dragon on it, he found the DVD and TV remotes and turned them on. "Jackpot! Monty Python and the Holy Grail is in there!" Prowl shook his head and went back to reading.

They both looked towards the door as they heard something race up the stairs. Banana opened the door, tossed the bag on the bed, and rushed downstairs again to feed Gizzy and Cookie.

"What did she leave there?" Angelo, the wise old stuffed shepherd dog, called to the Transformers from the floor.

"It's a bag. She went to Wal-Mart," Jazz called back.

"Well? What's in it?" Mr. Oinkbalm the pig asked from a box of stuffed animals. The zebra, anaconda, and Triceratops looked out of the box curiously as well.

Jazz climbed up out of the clothes while Prowl jumped from the ledge to approach the bag. Jazz was there first and started digging through it. "She got a new pair of sneakers… Hey! I thought she was going to get that Slipknot CD! I don't see it in here! They must have only been selling edited, swear-free versions of the CD or something," Jazz stated.

"Oh my god… Is that who I think it is?!" Prowl said, pulling a plastic package out of the bag. "It is! Jazz, it's Sunstreaker!"

Jazz had pushed both sneakers out of the box and was hiding in it. He popped out of it. "Whee! This is fun!"

"Jazz…?"

"No way…" Jazz said, finally noticing what else his owner had bought.

"Yeah! I know! Exactly what I thought!" Prowl replied.

"Banana finally bought Appleseed Ex Machina! Fucking awesome! Now we can stop renting it over and over!" Jazz said excitedly, holding up the DVD case.

Prowl slammed his head on the wall. "Jazz!"

"Heh? Oh…were you talking to me? Oh look! Banana bought a Sunstreaker!"

Prowl could have slapped him…

"Quickly, get him out! A toy isn't meant to live its life in a plastic container!" Angelo said.

"Right!" they replied, tugging at the packaging.

"We need scissors!" Prowl said. "Where did the master leave them?!"

"They're on the desk! Quick, Vermin, Tapewurm, Pestilence! Find the scissors!" Angelo called to the homemade rag dolls on the desk. They found them and tossed them to the floor. Angelo picked them up in his mouth and raced them to the bed.

Prowl quickly cut the tape off and pulled the plastic casing out, allowing Jazz to undo the twist ties. They pulled Sunstreaker in all his yellow Lamborghini Gallardo majesty out of the packaging and placed him on the bed.

"Is he okay?" Jazz asked.

"Who knows how long he's been packaged in there. I just hope it's not too late," Angelo replied.

Prowl kneeled down beside him. "Sunstreaker? Are you okay?" He was silent.

"Uh oh…" Jazz groaned.

"We were too late," Angelo sighed. All of a sudden, Sunstreaker started snoring.

"Or not…" Prowl added.

"We must call this one Lucky!" Jazz joked.

* * *

"Wow, this place is so much better than that rack at the Wal-Mart! I had an Animated Bumblebee blocking my view of everything!" Sunstreaker said in wonder once Prowl and Jazz managed to decipher the directions and transform him. "I would have gone home with some 30-year-old guy too, if he hadn't taken pity in Banana being disappointed that I was the last one there and given me to her!"

Jazz stared at the directions that had taken him three hours to figure out. "Note to self: Find out who made these instructions and mail him a deep-fried chicken head…"

Prowl went back to reading Beowulf in Banana's textbook while Sunstreaker explored his new home. "Oh my god, she's a bigger slob than Sideswipe!"

"I know, isn't it great?" Jazz replied.

"How can she find anything?! I think some of this stuff is beginning to fuse with the carpet on a genetic level!" He looked over at the desk. "Has she even read any of those magazines stacked on the corner there?!"

"Not really. The rag dolls say they're quite interesting, though," Prowl said.

"There's probably a lost Aztec civilization in her room somewhere!"

"Neh, no Aztecs. There _is_ a grizzly bear, though, so if you see it, don't try to be a hero," Jazz warned.

He looked up at the ceiling. "Why does the ceiling say "Ah! The power of cheese!" on it with red crayon?"

"Hey, even Banana doesn't know the answer to that one." Jazz nodded to the window. "The window says "Save trees! Eat beavers!" with window marker."

"Wow… Banana is an odd little cookie…" Sunstreaker shook his head.

"Trust me, I think she's a few chocolate chips short of a cookie," Prowl replied. The cat under the desk picked her head up. "No, not you Cookie. Go back to decapitating your catnip mouse." Cookie went back to attacking her toy.

They heard Banana rushing up the steps to her room. She snatched Sunstreaker and stuck him in her school bag and then ran off to the bathroom to finish getting ready. "Hey, what gives?! Why am I in a bag?! And is this Gir on her key chain?"

"Oh, we forgot to tell you. Three days a week when she has study hall instead of her lab, Banana takes us to school with her. Prowl has Mondays, I have Tuesdays, and I also used to have Thursdays, but I guess you have them now," Jazz answered. "Have fun at school! Tell her friends Bran Flakes, Nichole, and Kevin that we said hi!"

"Bran Flakes? I hope that's not his real name!" Sunstreaker called back. Banana ran in, snatched up the bag, and ran back out.

Jazz looked back at Prowl. "I'm gonna watch Appleseed Ex Machina."

"Okay, whatever," Prowl replied, reading the textbook.

* * *

Sunstreaker was sniffling when he came back. Banana took him out of her school bag and set him on the table at the foot of her bed that she'd given him all to himself (not only was there not enough room for him to share the windowsill with Jazz and Prowl, but he'd been complaining about how dirty it was and that Cookie and Gizmo kept knocking him off when they were in her room until she got sick of his bitching and moved him someplace cleaner).

"Uh oh… What's wrong, Sunstreaker?" Prowl asked, looking up from reading Tobermory in the textbook.

"Did you read her friend MC Raisin Bran's slash/mpreg stories? Because his stories _are _quite disturbing…" Jazz asked.

"No," Sunstreaker sniffed. He jumped down onto the bed.

"She didn't make you listen to The Silent Hill Song, did she?"

"No. We were actually listening to Grey Daze," he shook his head.

"Then what's wrong?"

"You know that kid Banana calls "Bluestreak" because he never stops talking?" he asked.

"Yeah…?"

"He thought I was Bumblebee!!" He started sobbing into Jazz's shoulder.

"Oh…damn…" Jazz said in surprise.

"Don't feel bad, Streaker. Bluestreak thought I was supposed to be a motorcycle," Prowl tried to comfort him. "In fact, a couple of her other classmates confused me for Barricade."

"Yeah, but at least being confused for Ani-Prowl or Barricade is much better than being confused for that little yellow wanker!"

"Hey now, that little yellow wanker is a friend of mine!" Jazz protested.

"I know what might make you feel better. Banana's kid sister is with her grandma right now, and Cookie and Gizmo are sleeping under the bed. Why don't we go downstairs and see what her sister's Ani-Prowl and Ani-Megatron are up to?" Prowl suggested. "We can even get a flashlight and see if we can communicate with the neighbor's Bayformers Starscream and Optimus Prime that they have standing on the shelf by the window."

Sunstreaker sniffed. "Okay."

They left the room and went downstairs to where Banana's little sister's Transformers were laying on the dining room floor. Megatron was grumbling as he tried to reattach the fusion cannon that she was always breaking off while Ani-Prowl was busy trying to locate his legs.

"Hey! What's up, dudes?!" Jazz greeted them, jumping up on the banister and sliding down to the level below.

"Can you guys help me? This thing's almost as big as I am which makes it hard to attach with only one arm," Megatron replied.

"Hey Universe Prowl, can you hand me my leg? It's right behind you!" Ani-Prowl called to Banana's Prowl.

"Oh, sure. Geez, Hasbro sure designed your limbs to pop off easily, didn't they?" Prowl observed.

"Says the guy who loses a doorwing everytime he drops six inches," Ani-Prowl countered.

"Touché."

"There. Now that everyone's back together, let's see what the neighbor's toys are doing, shall we?" Jazz suggested, popping Megatron's fusion cannon in place. He ran and got the flashlight and climbed up onto the windowsill, then used it to flash a code to the toys on the shelf. "I'm asking them how they're doing," he explained to the others. Optimus Prime grabbed the flashlight off the shelf next to them and flashed back.

"Well? What did they say?" Sunstreaker asked.

"They said to stop shining the flashlight in their eyes," Jazz replied.

* * *

"Wow, the Decepticon campaign is much more fun than the Autobot campaign," Sunstreaker observed, playing Transformers: The Game on the PS3.

"Of course it is," Megatron replied smugly.

"Especially since none of the Autobots can fly," Jazz added.

"No way! I thought Tobermory was a fascinating story too!" Ani-Prowl said to Universe Prowl.

"I admire that cat for speaking out like that," Prowl agreed. _(-cough- Gee Prowl, I wonder why you think that…)_

"I hated that story! I wanted the cat to live!" Jazz complained. "I thought 'Hello,' Said the Stick was a better short story."

"Oh shut up, no one's talking to you!" Prowl snapped.

"Oh crap, what time is it? We better get back upstairs before Banana's dad gets home!" Sunstreaker said, shutting off the game.

"We'll put it away. You two just get back up there," Megatron volunteered, jumping down off the couch to put it away. "And don't forget to let the cats out before they pee in her closet again and make her have to dig through the debris to clean it up."

"We won't forget!" Jazz called back as they climbed up the steps.

* * *

Sunstreaker dug around through the junk under the bed. "Hey look! I found Jimmy Hoffa!"

"Where?!" Jazz asked.

"Right here, next to Michael Jackson's original nose and the lost colony of Roanoke!" he called back.

"Oh my god, no way!"

"What are you looking for under there?" Prowl asked, staring at the contents of a month-old glass of chocolate milk. Or at least he thought it was chocolate milk… Did chocolate milk gain the ability to pulsate and grow limbs and teeth with age?

"I accidentally knocked my electron pulse blaster off the table, and I think it went under here," he replied.

"It's probably a lost cause, Sunny. Now get back up here before the mold eats you alive!"

Sunstreaker quickly ran out from under the bed, being chased by a rabid dust bunny. Angelo jumped out of the box and growled at it, causing it to whimper and run back under the bed. "Thanks, Angelo!" Sunstreaker said gratefully.

"Don't mention it, young Autobot. As the oldest toy here, it's my job to look after the others," Angelo replied, climbing back into the box. "Now go to bed. It's almost midnight."

Sunstreaker climbed up onto his table. Jazz climbed up on the windowsill and purposely stepped on the remote, turning on the stereo, which was blasting All That Remains. Prowl, who was half-asleep and standing in front of one of the speakers, screamed in surprise and fell off the windowsill into the clothes bucket.

"Jazz! What the hell are you doing?!" Prowl demanded.

"GAH!! My virgin ears!!" Sunstreaker screamed above the music.

"Tunes for goodnight," he replied.

"For Primus sake, Jazz! You're not the only damn toy in the room! Put on some headphones!"

"Sorry," Jazz apologized, plugging headphones into the jack.

* * *

"Hey Prowl, are you asleep?" Sunstreaker called across the room.

"I was…" he moaned, rolling over. "Why?"

"It's scary here…"

"How is it scary?"

"Well for one thing, there's so much stuff on the floor by the closet that anything could be hiding in there, watching me, and I can't see it. And also, Universe Sideswipe hasn't been released yet, so it's kinda lonely here," Sunstreaker replied.

"Ah. You miss Sideswipe?"

"Yeah… And it's too quite. I remember how I'd always go to sleep listening to the other toys talking. I miss that too."

"Why don't you listen to Jazz's headphones blaring? Is that the same thing?" Prowl asked.

"Oh my god, that's his music?! I thought the people next door were fighting again!" Sunstreaker gasped.

**-Fini-**


End file.
